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Thread: The 7 dirtiest jobs in IT... - FUNNY

  1. #1
    Member godcronos's Avatar
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    Talking The 7 dirtiest jobs in IT... - FUNNY

    Hmm...

    Dirty IT job No. 7: Legacy systems archaeologist
    WANTED: INDIVIDUALS FAMILIAR WITH 3270, VAX/VMS, COBOL, AS/400, AND OTHER LEGACY SYSTEMS NO ONE ELSE REMEMBERS. MUST BE ABLE TO TYPE ENTIRELY IN CAPITAL LETTERS FOR EXTENDED PERIODS. APPLICANTS MUST MEET MINIMUM AGE REQUIREMENT OF 55.

    Dirty IT job No. 6: Help desk zombie
    Excellent entry-level opportunity for multitasking individual with low self-esteem. Ability to read from scripts a plus. Potential to move up to bug scraper, password reset technician, or tape rotation coordinator.

    Dirty IT job No. 5: On-site reboot specialist
    Seeking individuals for on-site support of end-users. Must be familiar with three-fingered Ctrl-Alt-Del salute and power cord reconfiguration. Ability to withstand a variety of environments and personality types; concealed-weapons permit a plus. Individuals with anger management issues need not apply.

    Dirty IT job No. 4: Interdepartmental peace negotiator
    Looking for self-starter skilled at moderating tech disputes between warring factions within the same company or between company and its client. Must possess experience in ego-stroking, manipulative massage, and hand-to-hand combat.

    Dirty IT job No. 3: Enterprise espionage engineer (black ops)
    Seeking slippery individuals comfortable with lying, cheating, stealing, breaking, and entering for penetration testing of enterprise networks. Requirements include familiarity with hacking, malware, and forgery; must be able to plausibly impersonate a pest control specialist or a fire marshal. Please submit rap sheet along with resume.

    Dirty IT job No. 2: Datacenter migration specialist
    Position involves relocating and reconfiguring datacenter over impossible distances within a ridiculously short time frame. Prior experience as cable jockey, rack-n-stack grunt, console monkey, and/or log zombie a plus.

    Dirty IT job No. 1: Sludge systems architect
    Seeking individuals with demonstrated ability to squeeze over, under, or between confined spaces to solve technical problems. Candidates should be prepared to work long hours for low pay under adverse conditions. Must not be allergic to sawdust, vermin, airborne pathogens, or sewage.


  2. #2
    My life is this forum Barry's Avatar
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    Yea, I've done #5 alot.
    Of course, if you really wanted to have some fun, go to Wal-Mart late at night and ask the greeter if they could help you find trashbags, roll of carpet, rope, quicklime, clorox and a shovel. See if they give you any strange looks. --Streaker69

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    Senior Member streaker69's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by godcronos View Post

    Dirty IT job No. 1: Sludge systems architect
    Seeking individuals with demonstrated ability to squeeze over, under, or between confined spaces to solve technical problems. Candidates should be prepared to work long hours for low pay under adverse conditions. Must not be allergic to sawdust, vermin, airborne pathogens, or sewage.

    I can guarantee that the IT staff does not do that. We hire contractors to do it instead and we warn them about "Montezuma's Revenge".

    Sawdust, vermin, pathogens and sewage are the absolute least of your concerns at a treatment plant. There's many other ways to die, and a couple of them are pretty quick.
    A third party security audit is the IT equivalent of a colonoscopy. It's long, intrusive, very uncomfortable, and when it's done, you'll have seen things you really didn't want to see, and you'll never forget that you've had one.

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    Member godcronos's Avatar
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    No 6 and 1 for me.

  5. #5
    Member Primey's Avatar
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    im on #4...a LOT

    practicing numerous martial arts because of it
    "Family, Religion, Friends, those are the three demons you must face if you want to be successful in business"
    Montgomery Burns

  6. #6
    Junior Member cyberconsole's Avatar
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    Hah. This is funny. But hey, you gotta start somewhere
    There's no fate but what we make for ourselves.

    -I already know I cant spel-

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    My life is this forum Barry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by streaker69 View Post
    I can guarantee that the IT staff does not do that. We hire contractors to do it instead and we warn them about "Montezuma's Revenge".

    Sawdust, vermin, pathogens and sewage are the absolute least of your concerns at a treatment plant. There's many other ways to die, and a couple of them are pretty quick.
    I'm thinking the garbage disposal thingy you can put a cow in is right up there at the top.
    Of course, if you really wanted to have some fun, go to Wal-Mart late at night and ask the greeter if they could help you find trashbags, roll of carpet, rope, quicklime, clorox and a shovel. See if they give you any strange looks. --Streaker69

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    Just burned his ISO
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    Whats wrong with #3
    i think thats a perfectly acceptable trade.

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    Junior Member MrWrong's Avatar
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    I tried #6 for a month, then it was the single finger salute. My boss was worse than the customers.

    Lately I'm that poor broke contractor fighting the rats N vermin in #1. I don't think its that bad of a job, I just hate having ruin a pair of slacks and dress shirt every time I goto work instead of ratty levis and a Tshirt saying something appropriate like "Homeless, will work for food"
    Wrong place
    Wrong time
    Wrong woman

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    I am a big example for the job no. 1.In a hope, that one day everthing gonna be alright.Still working and my luck that i found this institution.Everybody got their own problems.I have mine.Thats why working on job # 1.Lets see.

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