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Thread: Hello, You're through to Technical Support ...

  1. #1
    Developer balding_parrot's Avatar
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    Default Hello, You're through to Technical Support ...

    'Hello, You're through to Technical Support how may I help you?'

    'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with Microsoft Word.'

    'What sort of trouble?'

    'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'

    'Went away?'

    'They disappeared.'

    'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'

    'Nothing.'

    'Nothing?'

    'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'

    'Are you still in Word, or did you get out?'

    'How do I tell?'

    'Can you see the C:\ prompt on the screen?'

    'What's a sea-prompt?'

    'Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?'

    'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'

    'Does your monitor have a power indicator?'

    'What's a monitor?'

    'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'

    'I don't know.'

    'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?'

    ...'Yes, I think so.'

    'Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.'

    ...'Yes, it is.'

    'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?'

    'No.'

    'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'

    ...'Okay, here it is.'

    'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'

    'I can't reach.'

    'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?'

    'No.'

    'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?'

    'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-it's because it's dark.'

    'Dark?'

    'Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.'

    'Well, turn on the office light then.'

    'I can't.'

    'No? Why not?'

    'Because there's a power outage.'

    'A power... A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?'

    'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'

    'Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'

    'Really? Is it that bad?'

    'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'

    'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'

    'Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer.'

  2. #2
    Senior Member
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    Cute!

    Bad...but cute
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  3. #3
    Developer balding_parrot's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by -=Xploitz=- View Post
    Cute!

    Bad...but cute
    Well I thought it was quite appropriate considering a lot of the questions we get here.

    I KNOW it's bad it IS the kind of situation we deal with on many occasions every day

  4. #4
    Senior Member streaker69's Avatar
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    If only calling tech support actually meant you got someone that knew their ass from a whole in the ground.

    Called Tech support this week of a huge company that makes Industrial Automation gear to ask them why when we upgraded the firmware in their unit could we not access it's web interface anymore. After I repeatedly told them that I port scanned the unit and it was not responding to Port 80, they continued to tell me that it must be a problem with the browser I was using, or maybe the version of Java that I had installed. Wanted me to test it out on IE6 with Java 1.4.2, even though before we flashed the firmware it was working on IE7, FF 2.0.0.5 with Java 6. They just didn't seem to understand that if Port 80 doesn't respond, it doesn't matter what browser you're using.
    A third party security audit is the IT equivalent of a colonoscopy. It's long, intrusive, very uncomfortable, and when it's done, you'll have seen things you really didn't want to see, and you'll never forget that you've had one.

  5. #5
    Developer balding_parrot's Avatar
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    Did they eventually bow down to your superior knowledge and pass you up the chain to someone who understood what you were saying?

    Is it sorted now or are you still in limbo

    If it is sorted now was it them, or most likely you that fixed it.

  6. #6
    My life is this forum Barry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by streaker69 View Post
    If only calling tech support actually meant you got someone that knew their ass from a whole in the ground.

    Called Tech support this week of a huge company that makes Industrial Automation gear to ask them why when we upgraded the firmware in their unit could we not access it's web interface anymore. After I repeatedly told them that I port scanned the unit and it was not responding to Port 80, they continued to tell me that it must be a problem with the browser I was using, or maybe the version of Java that I had installed. Wanted me to test it out on IE6 with Java 1.4.2, even though before we flashed the firmware it was working on IE7, FF 2.0.0.5 with Java 6. They just didn't seem to understand that if Port 80 doesn't respond, it doesn't matter what browser you're using.

    I don't think this word means what you think it does...
    Of course, if you really wanted to have some fun, go to Wal-Mart late at night and ask the greeter if they could help you find trashbags, roll of carpet, rope, quicklime, clorox and a shovel. See if they give you any strange looks. --Streaker69

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