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Thread: The 16 Reasons a Modem is Better Than a Woman

  1. #1
    Developer balding_parrot's Avatar
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    Default The 16 Reasons a Modem is Better Than a Woman

    The 16 Reasons a Modem is Better Than a Woman

    1. A modem doesn't ask for a commitment if you use it.
    2. Getting a modem to obey you is as simple as typing "AT".
    3. When you're done using your modem, you can roll over and go to sleep without feeling guilty.
    4. A modem won't say a word if you come home late.
    5. A modem can't collect alimony/child support if you decide to dump it.
    6. A modem will always wait patiently by the phone.
    7. A modem doesn't bitch if you sit and play with the computer all night long.
    8. You can always get a few bucks for an old modem when a faster model comes out.
    9. A modem is flat on top - hence your beer won't fall over.
    10. A modem doesn't mind if you call another modem.
    11. A modem doesn't require any foreplay - just an initialization command.
    12. A virus you catch via your modem doesn't require a trip to the doctor.
    13. You don't have to bring a modem home to meet your parents.
    14. If an error occurs, Abort, Retry or Fail are the only options you have to worry about.
    15. Modems come with an instruction manual.
    16. Modems have a volume control - you can even turn the sound OFF.

  2. #2
    Senior Member shamanvirtuel's Avatar
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    hope my wife never see that, lol she is a feminist fury............
    Watch your back, your packetz will belong to me soon... xD

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    Quote Originally Posted by shamanvirtuel View Post
    hope my wife never see that, lol she is a feminist fury............
    Mine too,I feel your pain. Equal rights,Equal money but you better hold the ****in door for her or there will be all hell to pay!

  4. #4
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    Talking

    Quote Originally Posted by balding_parrot View Post

    8. You can always get a few bucks for an old modem when a faster model comes out.
    9. A modem is flat on top - hence your beer won't fall over.

    11. A modem doesn't require any foreplay - just an initialization command.
    12. A virus you catch via your modem doesn't require a trip to the doctor.
    16. Modems have a volume control - you can even turn the sound OFF.
    These are my favorites...

    ESPECIALLY 8.
    Quote Originally Posted by balding_parrot View Post
    You can always get a few bucks for an old modem when a faster model comes out.
    I tell my wife all the time I'm gonna trade her in for a a hot little new Corvette with less miles on it and less ware and tear.

    BTW I assume no responsibility if you actually have the balls to say this to your wife/girlfriend...cause after you do tell her this..you may not have any.

    And of course the beer one as well.
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  5. #5
    Developer balding_parrot's Avatar
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    I guess I am kind of lucky then, (she) the other half was the one that sent it to me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by balding_parrot View Post
    I guess I am kind of lucky then, (she) the other half was the one that sent it to me.
    The only real down side that i see is a cat 5 port is nothin like a hot wet...........Well you get the idea

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    Quote Originally Posted by purehate View Post
    The only real down side that i see is a cat 5 port is nothin like a hot wet...........Well you get the idea
    ROFL. and a RJ45 port is a bit too small for my elephantis.

  8. #8

    Default Sent this one to my ex ;)

    sorry had to do it... man she did not get it but she understood enough to continue to complain about it.

    5. A modem can't collect alimony if you decide to dump it.
    we can add child support to that also!

    Thanks for posting this

    -free
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  9. #9
    Jenkem Addict imported_wyze's Avatar
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    Well if my modem was capable of having tits and cooking, then I 'might' consider a commitment... but I'm already married, so would that make me a Morman?
    dd if=/dev/swc666 of=/dev/wyze

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    Nice thread balding_parrot cheers me up when I'm down.

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